February 2nd, 2002


On personal boundaries

I guess I've learned over the past few years how important it is to understand, ideally ahead of time, how far in to my personal space I'm willing to let another person, and how deeply into theirs I want to go. These mental exercises have become so useful to me that I think of them as a kind of Swiss army knife in interactions with people, or, I don't know, some fundamental universal constant like the speed of light.

For instance, I can remind myself when getting a fundraising sob story on the telephone to keep this person from affecting my feelings too much, which makes it much easier to hang up on them.

But obviously, it's in my friendships and primary partnership where this is most important.

I had a really interesting dream about my newest friend last night that I think reflects my mind's attempts to keep my boundaries straight. I want to relate it here but don't have time now.

More later.
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