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May 21st, 2003

house weirdness

We worked really hard to reclaim the enclosed porch on the back of the house for Kate's graduation party... the shop vac did a good job of sucking up all the dust and cat hair and insects and cobwebs (it only has louvered windows so it sort of stays open to the elements all winter), and we made a tasteful rearrangement of furniture. And the back patio is absolutely pristine, having been purged of leaves on top of rotten leaves on top of composted dirt, and lots of grass growing up between the bricks. Everything looks great!

Becca stayed a while after the party broke up, and the three of us just sat out there talking, and then we all did a good fraction of the party cleanup. Much of the rest of it got done Monday and Tuesday morning, and then my usual housecleaner visit was today. The result is that the house is even cleaner and nicer than usual, and has almost an odd, not-lived-in feel about it. That plus the fact that Kathy isn't around this week (since school is out) isn't a good combination, as it leaves me entirely too alone. I'm especially glad for Ajay at times like this.

I have to prepare a six-minute talk for tomorrow. This means only three slides, and it's incredibly hard for me to express anything I want to say on three slides. So it's stymieing me, and I'm about to give up on it for the night.

While talking to Kate tonight I was talking about how my entire life has been taken over by anxiety lately. A lot of uncertainty and stress is basically with me all the time, and I was just noticing that it's really starting to take a toll on my body as well as my soul. I'm doing some deliberate relaxing exercises several times a day, but that seems weird and unusual which makes me more anxious yet.

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szasz
Charley

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