June 19th, 2003


bad dreams

This was two nights ago.

I have this "city" that a lot of my dreams take place in. It has narrow streets and a lot of outdoor cafes, and the streets are all at angles and fairly short, so it is difficult to navigate and there is always more than one way to get to where I'm trying to get to, the "right" way and the way I wind up going, which is always along the back sides of buildings with run-down fences and seedy-looking people. Through the middle of it is a huge elevated highway, with shops and bars and restaurants in the shadow of it on the street level. I dunno why, but that setting often appears.

So in this dream, I'm wandering the streets with siren52684 of all people, who keeps trying to drag me into bars where there are big crowds and a lot of "advance" pickup action going on, like you'd expect in a trendy big-city club. I'm very anxious about following her in, and I keep making excuses, and then we go by the next trendy bar, and it starts all over. Finally, I think, she abandons me and disappears into the crowd herself.

Now very alone and wandering the streets of Anxiety City by myself, I find my way back to the little apartment where I live, which magically expands to the size of my house here. I climb into bed and am just settling in when Becca cries out from downstairs (and I remember this exactly) "Hey, come down here right away, and bring a spacer with you! We need a spacer for this!" Her voice is really urgent so I scramble out of bed and get downstairs and Becca is looking into the living room, where I see some insects on the floor.

No problem, I think, those are just ants, I get ants in the house from time to time, we'll just smush them and that'll be it. But then I see there are not only big ants, but lots of nasty white larval things as well, an entire COLONY of gross insect world right there on the hardwood floor. I don't remember exactly how or why I got it, or even exactly what it was, but I then had a spraying squirt bottle that had this pinpoint accuracy, and I used it to spear the ants one by one. That worked, but the nasty larval things only puffed up and turned brown when I hit them with the squirter. Then I could see their glistening mouth parts like some 50's horror movie. This really creeped me out, which awoke me from my dream.

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